55. The Couple Contact Rebus

The survival mechanism and plea for help existing in the couple’s contact rebus of the latently motivated may be difficult for outsiders to understand. As previously mentioned, these relationships are characterized by the aggressor-victim role couplet, a constellation that in turn transmits a couple contact rebus. Since the latently motivated are in greater need of life force, they invite others into their relationship in a different way than the manifestly motivated (Motivational Work, Part 1: Values and Theory, pages 549 – 561).

Case Study

He Wants to See Her

Twenty-five-year-old Axelina, who started using amphetamines, hash, and other drugs in her teens, has been a resident at a drugs rehab center for two weeks now. Her ex-boyfriend, 30-year-old Linus, used to beat her up, but she never reported him. Having just served his second year in jail for a drug-related crime, he is now a free man and has found out that Axelina is staying at the rehab center. He contacts her by telephone and says he wants to see her.

A Cry for Help

At a meeting for the whole group of residents and staff, Axelina reveals how scared she is that Linus will try to find her. She tells the group that he has now threatened her and talks about his former assaults. The staff and clients are upset by Linus’s past and present actions and express a wish to protect Axelina from him. They organize a night watch where staff and clients patrol the institution grounds to prevent Linus from entering and agree that Axelina should never leave the center unaccompanied.

Grateful

Axelina appears sincerely grateful for this help and support, and for the first two weeks, everyone is very committed to the task of protecting her. At each morning meeting, the previous night’s watch reports any sightings of Linus, but as yet, he has not shown up.

The Deceit

On the fifteenth day, one of the clients turns up at the morning meeting in a very agitated state, having witnessed how Axelina has secretly let Linus into her room. This confuses everyone until one of the staff asks Axelina if it is true. She admits to the deceit. After further questioning, it comes to light that the day after their decision to patrol the grounds, Axelina called Linus in secret and has sneaked out to meet him every night since.

A Farewell

This is a great disappointment to all of those who tried to protect her. However, before the group continues their discussion, it is decided that Linus must leave the institution immediately. When the staff and clients go to inform Linus, Axelina goes with them. However, Linus refuses to leave, with Axelina’s support – and he starts making veiled threats. This all culminates in a police call-out. When they arrive to take Linus away, Axelina goes with them and says she is checking out of rehab.

Discussion

Invitation to Intervene

The couple’s contact rebus of the latently motivated clearly invites others to interfere in the relationship. Axelina adopts the role of victim and asks for protection. Through her actions, she tests whether or not the institution will take over emotional and proactive responsibility for being assaulted. The treatment center’s response is to emotionally take on Axelina’s anxiety.

The Couple’s Contact Rebus

In terms of the couple contact rebus, while Axelina employs a compliance contact rebus, Linus employs an aggressive one and adopts the role of aggressor. The treatment center is thus tested as to whether it emotionally sides with one party. The couple will feel they can trust the recipient who does not side emotionally with one while condemning the actual assault.

Axelina and Linus’s couple contact rebus does not only involve compliance-aggression contact rebuses but also an untruth contact rebus. Superficially, Axelina cooperates with the measures being taken to protect her, but she is not completely honest about the situation.

Failure of Solving the Aggressor-Victim Contact Rebus

The treatment center fails to solve the couple’s contact rebus, and Axelina and Linus enter a demotivational process. Had Axelina not discharged herself, the center would have probably discharged her anyway since most clients and staff felt deceived and betrayed.

The couple receives life force through their actions but not as much as they would have had the couple contact rebus been detransmuted, in which case neither Axelina’s nor Linus’s respective victim and aggressor roles would have been accepted. The institution would have been skeptical of Axelina’s behavior, questioning her role as a victim and not taking emotional responsibility away from the couple in terms of their relationship.

The Couple Contact Rebus Wants Help

The fact that Linus comes to the treatment center demonstrates that both he and Axelina desire help with their relationship and with themselves. Most importantly, they want the assault and drug abuse to end. Their actions indirectly indicate a sense of mutual confidence between them that is difficult to abandon.

They know what they have, but they don’t know what will happen if they change their relationship with one another. Axelina’s contact rebus clearly shows that she gains intimacy from the relationship. At the same time, she is also scared of Linus. By employing a couple contact rebus in addition to her individual one, her testing becomes more complex.

Increasing the Pressure

The interaction between Axelina and Linus increases the pressure in the gambit and can thus be seen as the third element in this respect; Axelina’s and Linus’s individual contact rebuses coexist with their mutual couple contact rebus. The active nature of the aggressor-victim contact rebus also increases the pressure within it. A show is put on for all to witness, the communicative power of which is much greater than mere words. The life force generated in the couple’s contact rebus is also greater, as two individuals are involved instead of one.