33. The Constructive Contact Rebus

The contact rebuses of the manifestly motivated are very much more constructive than destructive, the pain mostly being openly exhibited with a small residue being transmuted in the form of demotivation. Thus we can say that the individual has a constructive contact rebus (Motivational Work, Values and Theory, Part 1, pages 237 – 277)

Nevertheless, we have mentioned that the manifestly motivated may employ relatively indirect contact rebuses which need not be destructive. The more interested he is in having contact with another person, the greater his need may be to test. For the individual, commitment needs time to establish a bond and to offer abiding protection. When a bond is established, he allows his experience of the other person into his consciousness through the contact rebuses; his guard is thus lowered, and he opens himself up to contact.

In manifestly motivated individuals, constructive forces have the upper hand. Their motivation is strong, and they have an abundance of life energy to assist in the confrontation of a variety of harmful experiences. Moreover, they do not need to receive powerful, positive reinforcements via transmuted gambits, except on particularly important occasions.

Since the manifestly motivated are self-confident and enjoy a positive attitude to themselves, they need less affirmation from others to understand that people have a positive opinion of them. Pain largely emerges in untransmuted form, although a part of this pain is transmuted to demotivation because their life force is frequently insufficient to achieve a wholly untransmuted contact.

The large proportion of motivation in the manifestly motivated person reduces the ambiguity of the gambit in his constructive contact rebus, as it has a lower degree of transmutation than that of the latently motivated. Similarly, the manifestly motivated person allows himself to have more untransmuted contact with his own feelings.

Moreover, his gambits are not as complicated and indirect as that of the latently motivated individual in a similar situation. The manifestly motivated person is bolder in demonstrating who he is, and in this way does not run the risk of his target failing to see his gambit, but he does expose himself to the risk of open rejection in equal measure. He needs to test others but the process is not as complicated and is relatively quick, as the gambit in the contact rebus is more visible.

Case Study

When 45-year-old Ingemar is on the train one day, he meets an old classmate, Leifer, who he hasn’t seen in twenty years. They start to chat and catch up on what has happened in their respective lives over all those years and then they reminisce about old times at school. When they were young, they both shared radical political views. After some hesitation, Leifer now brings up his current political stance, which is highly critical of his former view.

Although he has the feeling that Ingemar still holds on to their old ideals, Leifer chooses to reveal his true self now, as he is interested in renewing their relationship and not just having a superficial one. Ingemar’s reaction to this is vehement. He is agitated by Leifer’s change of attitude and will not discuss it in a calm manner, which Leifer is trying to do. When they part at the station, Leifer has to admit that there does not appear to be a basis for a renewed relationship. He is also somewhat sad and feels bothered about Ingemar’s lack of respect for him.

Discussion

In showing who he really is to his old classmate, Leifer deliberately takes a risk because it is a prerequisite for them to re-establish a close relationship with one another. Leifer is also prepared for the pain that distancing would involve, but it would have been more burdensome to Leifer if he had not tried to be open. All the same, he is not interested in displaying this pain as he sees it as possibly intensifying the hurt caused by Ingemar’s reaction.

Nevertheless, we have mentioned that the manifestly motivated may employ relatively indirect contact rebuses which need not be destructive. The more interested he is in having contact with another person, the greater his need may be to test, for example falling in love. For the individual, commitment needs time to establish a bond and to offer abiding protection. When a bond is established, he allows his experience of the other person into his consciousness through the contact rebuses; his guard is thus lowered, and he opens himself up to contact.