The blog is the third and ending text about supervision. To discern between the private life and the relationship with unmotivated clients is essential in Motivational Work because the professional commitment is intense. The engagement can resemble the magnitude of an intimate relationship, but it is still a trained attitude (Motivational Work, The Motivational Relationship, pages 3 – 72).
Like a Uniform
The motivational worker uses the approach when conducting motivational work and then puts it aside when doing something else in his private life. In this way, his attitude is like a uniform that he puts on at work and takes off at the end of the day. The capacity to dress and undress the professional approach is learned and integrated with the help of supervision.
Network of Relationships in Private Life
Moreover, his life situation outside his work has great significance. Through his network of relationships, he can receive new emotional energy, which helps him stay engaged and not burnt out.
Irma’s Story
The case continues the story about how the staff member Irma integrates Motivational Work to be a part of her professional approach, focusing on how she handles residue from her work in her private life.
The Case
Conflict in Private Life
When Irma returns to her husband after a hard day at work, he asks her if she has bought a takeaway on the way home, as they agreed she would that morning to spare him the stress of cooking. She tells him she has forgotten, and he gets angry at her for breaking their agreement because she was too preoccupied with a client who no longer wants to see her.
Reconciliation
Irma gets angry in return and accuses her husband of overreacting. After arguing for half an hour, they smile and agree to go to a restaurant instead. During her argument, it did not cross Irma’s mind that his behavior was a contact rebus and that what he said was not to be taken seriously. Nor does she analyze her reactions but gets carried away by her own emotions.
Discussion
Not a Contact Rebus
For Irma is undoubtedly a good idea not to see her husband’s reactions as a contact rebus, as it would mean her distancing herself and ending up alone, isolated from her husband and herself. Irma and her husband’s argument gives them life energy and affirmation, which is vital for them as human beings.
Store up Life Energy
At the same time, her private life also allows Irma to store up at home the life energy she needs at work. As for her client, she has not entirely understood his contact rebus and pain, and his demotivation has entered her, leading to light self-destructive behavior in the form of forgetfulness (of the food) and neglect (of herself and her husband).
However, the demotivation is not strong, and Irma’s interaction easily breaks the demotivational process with her husband. Instead, the couple gives each other love and intimacy.
The Importance of the Life Situation
The motivational level of a manifestly motivated person and how he feels about himself depends on his life situation. Thus, the motivational worker can either have a network of relationships that more or less affirms him or negatively feeds back on him. A supportive private life makes it easier for the motivational worker to give a positive commitment to the client.
Her marriage supports Irma, and when she starts to enter a faint demotivational process, she can obtain a boost of life energy from her husband.