This emotional attitude involves the motivational worker conveying to the client that he has value as a human being; the client is shown respect regardless of who he is or what he has done. It is a feeling which corresponds to the democratic value of equal worth (Motivational Work, Part 2, Motivational Relationship, pages 36 – 44).
Being respected is the experience of belonging, of not being excluded from the community. The client feels that whatever might happen to him or whatever he does, he will be accepted as an individual. This gives him a sense of security. However dark things around him seem, he will never be completely alone; he will always be part of a human community.
Trust in God is a feeling that is close to that of esteem and respect – God will not abandon a person, whatever he has done.
The Client
The latently motivated client often feels he stands outside of society and the human community. However, the distance that is created between himself and others is often self-facilitated through his own behavior in the form of contact rebuses.
Many might recognize this emotional reference to respect: an individual tells someone about something he has thought or done that he finds difficult to accept. The listener shows respect by still holding the individual in esteem despite what he has told him.
The Motivational Worker
This emotion involves the motivational worker being able to differentiate between the individual and his acts. Regardless of what the client has done, he has the right to be respected and valued as a human. Separating the two can be difficult as it is all too easy to equate the person with his deeds.
The client may have done things that make it difficult for the motivational worker to maintain respect for him. No one can have respect for everyone; if he did, he would no longer be human with his own faults and shortcomings, but something of a god-like figure above everyone else. God can accept all human beings, but we do not have that ability. For us, there is a distinction between the clients we feel respect for and those we do not.
For some motivational workers, clients who have committed sexual crimes such as incest, child molestation, and rape are impossible to respect. For others, the same may be true of clients who have committed violent acts such as GBH and murder. For such motivational workers, the client’s deeds wreck any feeling of respect they could have had for him.
Even if the client has done something which the motivational worker rejects on the basis of his values, the actual emotional meeting may nevertheless allow him to convey the emotional attitude of respect. If the motivational worker can see the suffering human behind the objectionable facade, it may allow him to be less influenced by his values.
Case Study
27-year-old Gudmar has been sectioned for serious violent abuse. Unprovoked, he knocked down a 14-year-old boy and jumped repeatedly on his head, giving the boy permanent brain damage. Joel, Gudmar’s contact on the psychiatric ward, finds it difficult to sympathize with his client at first, as his crime prevents him from having a positive feeling towards him.
Joel feels that what Gudmar has done is so repugnant, that he is losing the desire to help him. However, they embark on a number of discussions together. On the surface, Gudmar is compliant and behaves as Joel would expect. Joel recognizes the compliance contact rebus but also senses that, behind the facade, his client feels very lonely and in despair about his life situation. Being able to see this side of suffering allows Joel to start having positive feelings for Gudmar.
Discussion
By looking beyond the contact rebus and meeting the suffering person, Joel gets past his negative feelings. He is no longer focusing on the aggressor but is discovering new sides to his patient.